The Re-relaunch

Despite my supposed “relaunch” of my blog, I basically wrote one new post 7 months ago and then ate a whole bunch of ice cream. Now to avoid exercising to lose the weight gained from said consumed ice cream, I have decided to really commit to this writing thing and have even invested a whole $12 a year (plus tax) [of my husband’s money] in my own site.

So why has it taken me so long to put the ice cream ladle spoon down and do this?

I give you the following 2 excuses reasons:

1. Fear
2. Laziness

Fear of writing something that people will not like or will find stupid or not funny, resulting in rebuke, humiliation or worse, being de-friended on Facebook.

Coupled with my good ol’ friend since childhood, Laziness. He who is the reason:

• Why there is this red dot forever on my phone [because I know that next iOS update is going to kill my battery life. I just know it.].

• Why I constantly hit the “Remind me later” button whenever I’m prompted to rate an app [because in my head, I’m saying “No, thanks” in a super bitchy way and that just seems too mean].

Kind of like this (minus the ginormous boobs).

• Why I never hit the “Report” button whenever Safari quits “unexpectedly” [because I don’t want to deal with any customer surveys, follow-up questions or, God forbid, do a software update].

• Why before I go downstairs, I try to think of anything and everything I need or may need from my room because there is NO WAY I’m coming back up here, resulting in me converting the base of my shirt into a makeshift basket.

Hmm, I don’t have my period, but just in case, let’s take this ENTIRE PACK OF SUPER PADS. 

• Why when I’m sitting on the couch watching TV and can’t reach the remote, I try to use my toes. And if that doesn’t work, then I wait until the next time I need to get up to pee [you know, that pee I’ve been holding for the last 45 minutes].

And yes, my monkey claw-like foot grosses me out too. Oh and those are Korean pajama pants my mom bought for me. I’m basically a walking towel.

• Why sometimes I don’t leave the house for days [yes, plural] because putting on a bra is just too hard [and let’s be honest, is just pointless in my case] and deciding which bra hook to use is even harder [don’t go for the first one – we all know you’re going to regret it after lunch].

And the list goes on.

So how I have overcome Fear and Laziness to take the step to re-relaunch my blog?

Well, I would love to tell you that I have had some sort of epiphany of self-worth and reignition of courage and passion for the written word. However, the matter of the fact is that I’m still struggling with Fear and Laziness [and sitting here bra-less], but frankly, I really need something to do because, well, I’m taking pictures of my foot reaching for a remote and my Facebook just won’t refresh anymore.

So de-friend me if you will [please don’t], but I’m back for real and you know what, screw it – I’m going to go ahead and install that new iOS update while I’m at it.

…3 minutes later.

I knew it.