No sleep & people not refilling things make Chris go something something

As it is, I’m sure, quickly becoming very apparent to you, I am slightly bat shit crazy. But let me give you some background to this endearing [in the “aw, you’re spethal” kind of way] characteristic of mine.

I have a sleeping problem and have had it for the past few years now. I have a hard time falling asleep, wake up a couple of times during the night and often wake up before my alarm.

As you can imagine or have experienced for yourself, when you don’t sleep well, you just become a fucked up person [I’m sure there is a better way of putting this, but I’m writing this post on not much sleep so… just shut up].

For instance, things that would probably not bother a normal, sleep-getting person SHITS YOU TO NO END.

• Who the eff is using the stapler and not refilling the staples?
• Why don’t people ever refill the paper in the printer? I’m looking at you, you office slut who printed that 150-page document.
• Will it kill you to refill the goddamn ice cube tray? Really? Okay, then I’ll refill it and you go DIE.
  

[As you can tell, I place a lot of importance on refilling things. It’s just common courtesy. So if you’re a chronic non-refiller, learn some manners, you jackass.]

Morning people are your daily secret enemies – secret because they are oblivious to the fact that you want to punch them in the face.

• Hey you, married couple taking the train to work together and cuddling in the seat – yeah, eff you too.
• Do you REALLY need to be talking so loudly with your friend so damn close to me right now?
• Hey, large soy cappuccino, extra hot – thanks for holding up the line, you douche.

Then even night people start to bother you.

• OK, seriously, who the eff books dinner for 8pm?
• No, I do not want to go to a “body pump” class with you after work. And thanks for making me feel guilty now about not working out, you asshole.
• I’m sorry, the movie starts at WHAT time? And HOW LONG does it go for? Oh, okay, so you WANT me to have a shitty day tomorrow. 

Finally, it gets to a point where you just hate ALL PEOPLE.

• Why are you smiling?
• Why are you looking at me?
• Why? Just why?

And the worse thing is that sleep deprivation is a cyclical problem that I struggle with on a daily basis as I will illustrate through this scientifically proven [in other words, so overly complicated that it’s just confusing] diagram:

What is the point of this post?

Well, honestly, I was going to tell you a story about what happened at my doctor’s when I went to go see him about my sleeping problem but I’m effing tired right now and am in no mood.

So I’ll end with this:

Dear people who are sleep-rich or of a medium-to-high sleep-getting background,

Stop talking and cuddling on the train in the morning.

Stop holding up the coffee line.

Stop booking late dinners and movies.

In fact, just.. just… just stop.

Oh… and refill things.

Kind regards, [eff that, you’re just getting:] Regards,

Chris