Online dating (with director’s commentary)

So I had mentioned in my first post that I am online dating and while there are a bajillion websites, articles etc. on online dating [like seriously, go Google it. I’ll wait… A bajillion, right? Well.. now a bajillion + 1.. I’m sorry], I thought I would share some of my personal views on this topic.

Is it my ideal way of meeting someone? Of course not. But like I said, given that I’m starting to exhaust my circles of friends and their circles […and triangles, squares and octagons] and I’m in that age group where people are getting married, are already in long term or serious relationships and/or are definitely gay, I’m sort of running out of ways to meet new people, let alone new SINGLE people of preferably male origin [preferably but I’m flexible].

Also, long gone are those days of:

• “I like you. You like me. We’re boyfriend & girlfriend.”
• “You’re cute. We’re boyfriend & girlfriend.”
• “You have a car. We’re boyfriend & girlfriend.”
• “You have big boobs. We’re boyfriend & girlfriend.” [otherwise I would be forever single]

Because in addition to the obstacles described above, another sucky thing about being at this age is that we now have these annoying things called “standards”. Stuff like having a job [note: I said “A” job], common interests [“yes, I too enjoy beekeeping…”], similar values and of course, some level of physical attraction – you know, clearly unreasonable requests.

Hence, here I am – taking a socially unacceptable [or maybe now acceptable] amount of selfies, highlighting my “best” features [and hiding my cray as long as I can], filtering through the booty calls, social retards, young’uns, senior citizens and frankly, uggos and undertaking this recruitment process that is online dating.

There isn’t really a stigma with it anymore anyway. Uh, let’s not kid ourselves [or rather stop trying to kid ME]. The very fact that people say there isn’t really a stigma with it anymore implies that there is still some sort of stigma.

But you know what else has a stigma? Yo FACE, that’s what.

What has been my experience with it so far? It has been good and bad and if anything, definitely interesting and amusing [and scary] at times. My general approach has been:

1. Trying to keep an open mind but still really only putting in effort into those with potential.
2. I don’t really respond to messages unless I’m genuinely somewhat interested (see paragraph 1 above), and for the select unlucky souls, I will message them first myself [I ain’t letting that skank on “page 2 of 11” take my man].

Anyway, instead of going through all of my dating experiences now, I will just refer to them as appropriate from time to time in future posts – most likely in the form of a RAGING RANT.

Case in point, here are some examples of messages I’ve received in the past and my “director’s commentary” of my reactions/how I wish I had responded if I had the balls: